I’ve found over time, that the one thing that all of what I do is oriented around, is I care.
I care deeply. I care thoroughly. I care thoughtfully.
I listen.
And then I support you.
However that may look.
I often implement full range listening where I sync up my systems with the other person’s so that I can hear what they hear, see what they see, feel what they feel, think what they think. Then I share my findings and we sit with that for a moment. After that, any particular gameplan will be co-created and then go for it!
This is vague and generic, I know. It’s intended. Because to be any more precise means increasing the possibility of excluding someone, or even just a vital aspect of someone, and I won’t do that. It’s that precise action which often is the root cause of the unresolved emotion in the first place, and my intention is to address that cause, not restart the trauma loop once more.
More tangibly though, I usually, with explicit consent, place my hands upon a person’s upper chest and upper back to sync up with their systems for the assessment portion. The person remains clothed and often is seated. For transparency, it pains me even to put this down in writing because it already feels too specific and might not make room for a person who isn’t open to touch due to past trauma, or someone who appreciates a more traditional dialogue structure in order to get to understand what’s present. It’s extremely important to me that I make room for those people (and others) especially.
The truth is I’m much like a contortionist in regards to my approach to supporting people on their path. I will take whatever shape is most helpful and effective in meeting a person where they are exactly in that moment in time. I can’t tell you what comes next, because most people who I work with don’t know themselves what will come next, what’s buried inside, until we take the time and create the space to have a look. Only then will I know what role I need to play. This is scary in a way, I know. Because the part of us that keeps us safe wants to know what’s coming next. And that’s vulnerable for people, and something that the protecting mind doesn’t do naturally. Progression along the path, much to our mind’s annoyance, is rarely linear and predictable.
I hope this is helpful in better understanding what it is that I do. A colleague once described my work as, “Somehow you utilize over 100 different modalities, all at once. I don’t understand how it’s possible.” I get super shy about repeating this, because if I heard those words come out of someone else's mouth, I would most likely immediately dismiss them as a charlatan and a fraud. And yet, those words feel the most true. There you have it.